Conversation I just had with my chinchilla that I could just as easily have had with any of my ex-boyfriends

Look at you!

God you’re so cute!

I really could just snuggle with you all night.

You’re sooo cuddly!

Haha stop that.

Hahaha no, don’t do that.

No really, don’t.

You’re acting crazy.

Please stop.

Seriously.

If you don’t stop I’m not going to feed you later.

Ohhh silence, real mature.

And to think, I really thought things would work out despite your obstinate hatred of Camus and total ignorance of the French New Wave.

I want my juicer back.