My Stupid Barbie Bike

Jeremey and I taped my bike's handlebars today. I suppose the good news is that no self-respecting male will ever risk stealing this. The bad news is that that's because it looks like a Barbie bike:The handle bar tape that described itself as "burgundy" came out more as a fuchsia, leaving my bike frightningly remniscent of a Kaboodle I owned in second grade. This is what I get buying color-specific things off the internet. The worst part is that this is vintage Benotto handlebar tape, shipped to me from England, and I love it....so I think I'm going to paint the body of my bike a darker color so the handlebars stand out more.
Why is this thing that began simply as a mode of transportation becoming so much like my pet? All these mechanical parts have become so dear. It is strange.